My Child Lies to Me. Constantly. About Completely Pointless Things. Tell me if this sounds familiar: Your child emerges triumphantly from the toilet. Happy as Larry that they made it in time, without incident. A parenting win. You almost feel proud. They are halfway down the corridor, eyes already fixed on a toy they have every intention to touch, manipulate, and almost certainly fight their sibling over, when you intercept them. "Did you wash your hands?" "Yes." "Let me smel

Do you remember the game Pass the Parcel from your childhood? At birthday parties, all the children would sit in a circle vibrating with excitement while one glorious, suspiciously lumpy parcel was placed in the middle of the room. Wrapped in approximately 47 layers of newspaper and sticky tape, it held the promise of ultimate treasure buried somewhere deep inside. Then the music would start. Children passed the parcel around with the intensity of people handling nuclear mate

Tell me if this sounds familiar. You are doing the weekly shop with your child. You are in the zone. List in hand, snacks in the bag, mild optimism that today might be the day you get through the checkout without incident. And then you turn a corner. There, right at eye level of your small person, is THE TOY. You see it a fraction of a second too late. They have already seen it. And with that, the rest of the tragedy begins to unfold with the inevitability of a Shakespeare pl