There is one thing you need to do to STOP Bedtime Battles (and Bluey can tell you)

“Upstairs for bedtime!” calls Chilli, Bluey and Bingo’s mum (you know, from the cartoon "Bluey" - about the Aussie dog family).

At that precise moment, the girls dart away.

“Oh, here we go,” dad Bandit sighs, rolling his eyes as he follows his daughters out onto the verandah (that’s Australian for “patio,” in case you’re wondering;).

As they stand there saying goodnight to the animals, Bluey sighs dreamily:

“I wish I was a fruit bat.”

What she’s really saying, of course, is:

“I wish I didn’t have to go to sleep.”

Why do kids “fight sleep”?

You’ve probably been there:

• Your baby thrashes and resists, refusing to let go and give in to sleep

  (my own baby, now 7months old, gives the performance of his life, rocking, pushing up, rolling - for 30-40min before he finally doses off).

• Your toddler starts jumping on the bed, suddenly wide awake.

• Your older child remembers every single detail of their day right as you turn off the lights.

...and WHY do they do that?

Well, there are a few reasons for it:

1️⃣ Physiological

In the evening, as cortisol (the stress hormone) drops and melatonin (the sleep hormone) begins to rise, many children experience a brief surge of dopamine and adrenaline — especially if they’re overtired or overstimulated. This manifests as a sudden “second wind.” Research from the National Sleep Foundation (Mindell & Williamson, 2018) confirms that overtired children often appear hyperactive rather than sleepy, making bedtime a paradoxical struggle.

2️⃣ Emotional

Bedtime also means separation — from their parents, their safe base, and their world of play. According to attachment research (Bowlby, 1969; Schore, 2015), separation from the attachment figure can trigger stress in young children. They cling, stall, or resist because they are trying to prolong connection, not because they are “being difficult.”

Learning to fall asleep independently — to let go — is a developmental skill that takes the entire first six years of life to mature.

3️⃣ Developmental Drive (Montessori’s “Horme”)

Maria Montessori introduced the concept of horme — the child’s innate life energy and drive to explore and act.

That same inner drive that compels your child to touch, mouth, discover and learn also resists being shut down. Bedtime feels like the end of their explorations — and their horme is still very much alive.

If this powerful inner drive isn’t guided by clear boundaries, it can spiral into tears, frustration, threats, and guilt — for everyone involved.

Because ultimately, children do not thrive when they have total freedom;

they are comforted by knowing where the edges are. Boundaries give them safety.

Maria Montessori referred to this as "Freedom within limits".

Freedom within limits = railings on a bridge

A bit like railings on a bridge that crosses a massive precipice.

Imagine stepping onto a long, narrow bridge suspended high above a canyon. If there were no railings — nothing to hold on to, nothing to mark the edges — you’d inch forward cautiously. Every movement would be uncertain. You’d shuffle, your heart pounding, scanning the ground for cracks, terrified that one wrong step could send you tumbling into the abyss.

That’s what life feels like for a young child when there are no routines, no consistent cues, no boundaries. They don’t know what’s coming next, or how far they can go before they “fall.” Their nervous system stays alert and anxious, unable to relax.

Now imagine that same bridge — but this time, it has sturdy bars on each side. You can see them, touch them, lean on them. Immediately, your body relaxes. You lift your head. You walk with confidence, maybe even skip a little. You’re free to look around, take in the view, and enjoy the journey.

That’s what routines, rituals, and consistent habits do for our children. They are the railings that make the world feel safe. They tell the child: “You are protected here. You can trust this path. You can rest.”

Neuroscience backs this up: predictable structure helps regulate a child’s developing nervous system. When a child knows what comes next — bath, pyjamas, story, sleep — the brain releases calming chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin, lowering cortisol and making it easier to fall asleep (Porges, 2011; Schore, 2015).

Building your bedtime “Bridge”

That’s why Bandit’s response in the Bluey episode called "Fruitbat" is so brilliant.

He doesn’t give in, threaten, or scold.

He sticks to the routine — but does so playfully.

Bandit’s Bedtime Rituals

Yep, the dog dad has it figured out — and we can learn a thing or two from him!

There will be nights when your child wants to “be a fruit bat” and keep playing.

But when you stick to the routine — even when it feels like you’ve said “pyjamas, bath, now!” for the millionth time — you give your child the predictability they crave.

Here are some creative bedtime solutions Bandit used to keep Bluey and Bingo on track:

1️⃣ Rocket Ship (to get them to the bathroom):

He turns “going upstairs” into a countdown launch — engaging their imagination and cooperation. So if your little one is finding it tricky to make their way to the bathroom - turn it into a game.

2️⃣ Penguins (to get them to shower): 

To get them wet and into the bath or shower, he tempts them with a game of "penguins" (ok, so pouring water on the floor and sliding on it, isnt exactly what I would do, but the idea is simple: entice your small human to get into the bath: bubbles, bathbombs, toys - you get the picture;).

3️⃣ Tactical Wee (to get them to use the loo and brush teeth):

The pre-bed toilet stop becomes part of a funny story....

4️⃣ Story Game to get them to tuck into their beds): 

He reads, then pretends to fall asleep mid-story — which makes the girls giggle but also settles the mood.

These "tricks" are rooted in connection, playfulness, and rhythm — three pillars of both Montessori and neuroscience-based parenting.

And even if your baby isn’t quite ready for rocket ships and penguins, they are already absorbing the sequence of events — bath, story, sleep — and building an internal map of safety and predictability.

Over time, this consistency makes the world feel safe.

And in that safety, they can finally let go.

And the lesson, I would love for each of us to take away:

When we, like Bandit, balance firm routines with empathy and playfulness, we teach our children that structure doesn’t cage them — it gives them wings.

Check out Bandit's excellent parenting strategies HERE

Here's to raising smarter, more confident & resilient children - and more often than not, it starts with us:)

Warmly,

Mags Salton

MA Applied Linguistics & Education

AMI Certified Montessori Assistant to Infancy

Founder of Academicus

References

• Montessori, M. (1949). The Absorbent Mind.

• Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation.

• Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment.

• Schore, A. N. (2015). Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self: The Neurobiology of Emotional Development.

• Mindell, J. A., & Williamson, A. A. (2018). Benefits of a consistent bedtime routine in young children: Sleep, 41(2).

• Mindell, J. A., Telofski, L. S., Wiegand, B., & Kurtz, E. S. (2009). A nightly bedtime routine: Impact on sleep in young children and maternal mood. Sleep, 32(5), 599–606.